…..NOT
This week when NJ Governor Christie did not like a question put to him by a woman at a Romney rally he responded: You know, something may go down tonight, but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart. He followed up with a clear cogent comment, but why make a snotty gender-focused comment first? Call the protestor out for rudeness or give her facts but do not make it a gender issue.
Did She Really Say That?
I had time zone issues last week and watched CNN’s very early morning show. This time, anchor Ashleigh Banfield was guilty of making equally gender focused comments at another woman. One example occurred when a newsperson was using a series of maps and charts and proclaimed that she felt like CNN anchor and technical guru, John King. Banfield proclaimed: Yes, but you are way hotter.
What? Why would she think that this was appropriate?
CNN Turn Off
from nscblog
Two days later in another fit of insomnia I was watching the show again when a journalist enthusiastically said that she was excited that the jobs numbers were coming out and it always was good data for an economist. Banfield proclaimed: Look how cute you are when you are excited. Never again, CNN. BBC is now my fallback early station.
Flash Back Time
In my working career, I heard this comment often. Yes, I get enthusiastic like someone of the female gender but when you get the “You are so cute to get excited” comment, you instantly feel your gender. You feel like the “other “ as though there are real engineers or real managers and then there are female, or cute engineers/managers. You have been separated out from the group.
There were so many other expressions that were consciously or unconsciously used to separate me from the norm. I detest the expression Young Lady as used by many men. “May I help you Young Lady?” Or “thanks for the comment, Young Lady”. These same men would never say Young Man or Young Gentleman. No woman should be called Young Lady unless she is under 12. It is condescending and just not appropriate.
Be A Woman
I do not use the Little Girls room. I use the Ladies’ room or the bathroom. Compliment me if you like my look on a given day, but do not say I look cute or sweet. These are condescending ingratiating words that only work if I know you well and like you.
Thanks for pointing these out, Chris. We get accustomed to some of the patter and tend to think, well, who is it really hurting? Or, am I just being overly sensitive? But you’re right – it hurts the younger women, or more particularly, the women-to-be (girls) who hear this stuff as a matter of course (as we did, back in the 60′s).
I do want to point out one thing and see how you or your audience react: I corrected one of my sons for using the term “girls” recently. His response was that females of his age (mid-20′s) would be offended if you called them women. I have no basis for comparison here, but wondered if anyone has heard this.
Carol,
I’m a 22 year old female, and there does seem to be a pervading diction amongst my peers that 20something females are stills girls or chicks. Your son isn’t entirely wrong in thinking that we in our 20s don’t like being called women, many of my friends feel the term ages them or seems particularly formal. I can’t help but agree with the sentiment, as I too feel in limbo between girl and woman. As a result, I try to address my peers as “ladies”, a respectful term that clearly acknowledges that we are not children, and it doesn’t hurt that the term lends an air of classiness to those I’m addressing!