Janet Walkow Christine Jacobs

Taking Control

What’s Can You Control?

  • You cannot control the weather but you can remember to carry an umbrella or wear weather appropriate clothing.
  • You cannot control where you were born or wrongs done to you in your youth.  But you can control your outlook on your future and what lessons you learn from your past.
  • You cannot control your height or eye color or basic bone structure.  But you can control what you do with these things and how your use them to create your own image.
  • To get into college, you could control how hard you studied, and made sure that your personal essays were well written.  But you could not control who else was applying to your school of choice, how hard the competition would be or the mood of the person who read your file on a given day.

At Work


The same thing happens in applying for a job. Your resume and your references and the quality of your application are in your control.  But the pool of applicants, the exact skills or personality fit desired by the hiring company or the company’s headcount budget are not in your control.

Understand What You CAN Control

In all of these cases, you have to understand what you can do and do it.  But you cannot control it all.

Your relationships

I have recently spoken both directly and indirectly with several women who want to find their soul mates…or, at least they want to go out on a Saturday night date now and then.

I invite these women to follow the same processes which have brought them other success.  What is in your control?  Do you exert your control? And what must be left to the universe?

Finding Someone Special

In the dating/mating world, this means working on your image and outlook, making sure that everyone you know understands that you are seeking a good guy.  Where might you find a good guy?  Women have luck online, at alumni events, at political and social gatherings.



Think about the things you like to do and want to share with a partner.  And do them.  You might meet someone interesting but the worth that will happen is that you will have done something you enjoy. These are in your control.

You will not find him while sitting in your home, texting your friends about your loneliness or going to chick flicks with girl packs.  Do these things for fun but not because you expect to meet men that way.

Control the Things in your Control

Control your attitude and outlook, your setting, the people you hang out with and how you spend your time. It may or may not work.  We can’t control everything. By focusing on things you can control will expand the possibilities and allow us to benefit from what is under our control. The rest we have to leave to chance, God or the spirit world. That you cannot control.

Christine Jacobs is an experienced corporate executive and a co-founder of Leading Women. Read her full bio.

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