We have all done things that we are not necessarily proud of. Fortunately, most of these bring about embarrassment and minor consequences. But sometimes what starts as a prank or just bad behavior deteriorates into something truly awful at the time of occurrence and forever after.
Rape on Campus
Liz Securro
In Crash Into Me , Liz Seccuro tells the story of being raped as a freshman at the University of Virginia. We have all seen the rape-date data and heard similar stories of co-eds being given drugged cocktails and put into horrible situations. After not getting any help or support from a university administration that only wanted to sweep the issue aside, Ms. Seccuro attempted to put together a new life but continued to suffer flashbacks and anxiety attacks.
It turns out that the rapist was never able to get beyond the incident himself. After years of AA and support, he contacts his victim with an apology. The emotional story is beautifully told and often difficult to read.
Altered Forever
This incident has ramifications for all involved for the rest of their lives. The victim will always think of the crime, feeling unsafe and violated. The perpetrator never forgot his actions, never graduated from college or held steady jobs. His family lived with his behavior issues, including alcohol dependence. Many of his fraternity brothers participated in either the original crime or in the cover up. They felt various levels of guilt or fear that things would catch up with them.
In drinking heavily at the college frat party and goading each other into violent behavior, the men never thought through the consequences of their actions. And then of course, the girl was accused of being out for a good time, consenting to sex or putting herself in this situation by wearing a mini skirt.
It is often easy to hear of stories like this and wonder “What did they think would happen?” but in the spirit of the party and college life, the questions were never asked. The girl went to a party as a favor to a friend and didn’t leave despite red flags. And the men lost all civility.The consequences hurt parents, spouses and children. They could have been anticipated but never were. A painful moral for all.
