1. Daddy’s Little Girl by Janet Walkow
Personal heroes – we all have them, but sometimes it takes time and perspective to recognize the people who change the path our lives take, affect the way we approach conflict or help inspire us to be all that we can. For me, the choice of a personal hero is easy.
DAD
Of course, to me, you’ve always been the best Dad and the best engineer in the world. You’re a quiet, unassuming man – the type of person whom children and adults want to be around. You embody a role model in many ways. An accomplished musician, you played the clarinet and enjoyed it thoroughly, no matter if you were attempting a children’s song or a jazz classic.
As a father, I cannot imagine anyone who could rival you. No matter what, you were always there for me – soothing hurt feelings, helping me solve problems and encouraging me. Every idea I presented was treated with respect and you constantly encouraged me to explore new areas and be an original thinker. I can remember the times you taught me how to make a cane fishing pole, ice skate in reverse, use power tools, drive in a parking lot, change a flat tire in the dark, and how to put top spin on a tennis ball. We share a close bond and I fondly remember going for runs together, where you always managed to ask me open-ended questions, so I would do all the talking. Good move. You taught me that I could accomplish anything I set out to do, provided I went into it with my eyes open and with all my energy. When I entered the workforce, you gave me valuable advice on dealing with issues: never go to your boss with a problem, unless you have a proposed solution.
Now, I sit by your bedside, holding your hand, snuggling against you, telling you stories and reminding you that I love you for always. Your only response is a raised eyebrow and fluttering eyelids. I know you hear me and this means the world to me. This morning when I showered I don’t know whether it was tears or water streaming over me. When I ran this morning, I thought about all the times we ran together around the Bellaire track. My sweat and tears fell onto the treadmill, opening up an empty place in my heart. I suppose I’ll fill the hole in my heart with my love for you.
Any accomplishment or recognition owes its roots to you. While you never would have labeled yourself a feminist, you provided an environment and the encouragement by which a girl could not only dream, but also attain her dreams and develop leadership skills. Thank you, Dad, for being the word’s best father, friend, mentor. My personal hero. I’ll always be your little girl. I miss you.
Janet Walkow
2. Honoring My Amazing Mother, Hilda Rwabaziare Paqui
My mom Hilda Rwabazaire Paqui is an amazing Ugandan-born global citizen, to whom I would like to pay tribute on her 66th birthday. She’s been a mother, mentor, inspiration and advocate for many, during her lifetime. In my opinion, she is the embodiment of the African Woman of Distinction whom people seldom hear about and from whose wisdom many can potentially benefit.
My mom was the born in 1945, the second of eight children to William and Kereni Rwabazaire, in Mbarara, Western Uganda. Unfortunately, her older brother, John was handicapped due to polio (but has since become a leader in the local district and father to many accomplished children) — forcing her into the role of first-born and therefore, the cultural bearer of responsibility for her younger siblings –which she embraced fully and enthusiastically. She always excelled academically and then went on to a successful career starting off as a television producer and popular on-air personality (including as the host of a Martha Stewart-style lifestyle show and the as Uganda’s female version of Mr. Rogers). This was followed by distinguished service as one of the fist few women diplomats posted by Uganda to the US, and then a 25 year career at the United Nations Development Programme — from which she retired in 2005 — as its second in command of its Communications Division.
She accomplished all of the aforementioned, as a single parent and while bringing the majority of her siblings to the US — who, along with their children, have gone on to succeed in their chosen endeavors.
I remember my mom’s mantra: “kids are people too” — empowering me to develop my own voice and strength at a young age – a philosophy very contrary to that of her African contemporaries. One of my fondest memories of my mom is when at 9 years-old, she had me accompany her to the first World Conference on The United Nations Decade for Women in Copenhagen, Denmark. It was to become one of the life-defining experiences to which I now attribute my commitment to gender rights and appreciation for events organization. I remember how often she was willing to be of service to others –helping uncountable number of people professionally, academically and financially. During the 1990’s, mom included me in her efforts to raise awareness and money for HIV/AIDS orphans during the height of the scourge in Uganda. I also fondly remember when she and her team at UNDP organized the NetAid concert in 1999 — the first event streamed live over the Internet. At the time, I didn’t understand its significance, in terms of the star power, the event’s technological feat and subsequent impact on global poverty alleviation — I just saw it as my mom wanting me to go to another one of her “boring” work events. These events ironically included the premier of Oprah’s movie, Beloved; a book signing by Nobel laureate, Nadine Gordimer; and a UN General Assembly performance by songstress, Mary J. Blige.
During her distinguished career, my mom traveled to almost 60 countries around the world (reporting about the impact of UNDP’s work in the field), while at the same time ensuring that I had a similar level of global exposure through my 13 years at the United Nations International School and world travel — including a High School summer vacation in Liberia to introduce me to Africa (because we couldn’t visit Uganda until 1986, due to political strife); trips to France and Mexico during my undergraduate studies (to reinforce my French studies and provide me with the American Spring Break experience, respectively); and a visit to Asia while I was in graduate school (to further expose me to Asian culture). All of the aforementioned and other experiences have enabled me to become a conscientious adult who strives to build upon what my mom and her contemporaries accomplished.
Here are the top 10 lessons my mom has taught me over the years, that I believe will be useful to others:
1. Whenever I face new challenges, she always tells me to “Go get them Tiger” – essentially reinforcing the notion that we have what it takes to win, if we believe in and apply ourselves.
2. Never give up: that’s the motto of Gayaza, the premier girls school she attended throughout her junior and secondary education. It always helps to sustain me despite the many obstacles I face along the way.
3. You don’t need to have many friends, only a few with whom you can have true relationships: Very critical advice — given that I always used to fall into the trap of seeking many friends — who ultimately ended up disappointing me. With the few deserving ones, remain loyal to them and tell them often how much you appreciate them.
4. Always seek to bring your best to situations: focus on those activities at which you can excel and work your hardest to accomplish them successfully.
5. Have a sense of purpose in your life: if you’re just floundering, you’ll never understand your true purpose and live life rudderless. Essentially, don’t try to be all things to all people.
6. Rid yourself of “dream killers”: There are many people based on their own feelings of inadequacy, who will seek to drain you of your greatness — weed them out of your life and keep persevering no matter what they try to do to you, even from afar.
7. Keep faith alive in your heart: the minute you allow doubt to set in, then you have to pray harder to overcome it. There’s nothing stronger than prayer with faith and ultimately action…to move you forward.
8. Think before you act: There are many seemingly unfair situations we come across to which we feel we need to react. It’s always best to take time to reflect and then respond in a more measured and reasonable manner.
9. Learn to forgive: we are all prone to making mistakes and deserve second chances.
10: Always have stationary on hand: there’s nothing better than receiving a hand-written thank you note for a good deed. Most people focus on calling, texting or emailing, but the best type of thank you is a hand-written note on high-quality stationary.